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Title:Step One - I Am Weary
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  • Registered: 11/03/2008
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Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol---that our lives had become unmanageable.

I Am Weary

Psalm 6:6-7

6. I am weary with my groaning: all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
7. Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.

When we admit that we are powerless over alcohol---that our lives had become unmanageable, we are recognizing our enemy, alcohol.  And that we are powerless over it, there is nothing we can do about it. At least that is what we first believe.  But in reality there is something that we can do.  And that is to reach out for a power greater than ourselves.

Proverbs 23:29-35

29. Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes?
30. They that tarry long at the wine: they that go to seek mixed wine.
31. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.
32. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.
33. Thine eyes shall behold strange women and thine heart shall utter perverse things.
34. Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast.
35. They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.

I would go to bed wondering how I was going to get though the next day. At first it started as a minute to minute thing to start this journey in recovery.

Psalm 6:2-4

2. Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
3. My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?
4. Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for they mercies' sake.

I can not remember the times when I went to bed at night that I asked the Lord to have mercy on me.  I didn't start my recovery at a young age, I started it at the good old age of 50. So not only what old age brings I also had to deal with my thorn in the flesh.

Psalm 40:1-3

1. I waited patiently for the Lord: and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
2. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
3. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

I have to admit that at that time patience was not one of my strong points in life. Today I still get lessons in patience. I have learned that you need to have patience especially if you are in recovery.  For the reality of the situation is that we didn't get where we were overnight it took time.  In recovery it also will take time and patience.  And since one of my many character defects was not being patience in what I want, God start working on me with patience and learning the importance of having patience. I had to come to understand that the Lord knows what He is doing, and all I have to do is just trust Him in giving this path to recovery. And each time that the Lord gave me a lesson in how to live life on His terms and not my own.  

For those that just cannot find recovery, they haven't really taken Step One as serious as they need to get it.  They just have not learned patience and just want it now. But that is not how it works. First off you not only have to admit that you are powerless over alcohol, you have to accept it as a fact a truth, that you are powerless.  And to overcome this powerlessness you need to have patience, and most important that you have a open mind.  Where at one time you did not give the Lord any thought in your life.  It will take patience and learning to move towards a way of life that will in the end give us the satisfaction of living our life with the Lord instead of the way we were living life, a life without the Lord, to a life with the Lord. And to do that you need to find out about the Lord, and what a wonderful life you can have, without alcohol. Just by trusting the Lord and not ourselves.

God Bless,
Have a good day,
John T. Begin
Date Posted: 06/23/2018 09:28 AM
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