SunshineMeadows 
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:10/06/2011 10:09 AM)
Myrtle,
Sorry to read that you found receiving the diagnosis distressing. Anything I could say on the topic of personality disorders would come from me looking for information on the internet. I can be good at finding information but bear in mind I have no medical qualifications.
One thing I can do though is this ~hugs~
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myrtlemaid
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:10/06/2011 4:45 PM)
Huggs back.. thanks sunshine..spent a lot of the day reading upon it..lol ive information overload ..buzzz buzz and whhhhirly head right now..i guess itll calm down when Ive taken it all in and had time to process it...lol by then ill have found something else to worry about... ahhhh such is life ! jox
 Love the smilies and how easy they are to find !
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SunshineMeadows
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:10/06/2011 4:57 PM)
Life without any worry is a life without risk and a life not lived. It is good to read that you were able to find more information. 
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Darrowsgirl
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:11/06/2011 7:51 AM)
I'm just reposting my comments on this thread in 'the other place', not because I am attaching any assumptions of worth in them, but simply for continuity:
Hi Myrtlemaid.
Ok, so you've been labeled with a PD. This is usually done in the first instance by a psychiatrist (I assume that is the case with you). I'm not sure what your reaction is to your diagnosis - relief or horror?
If it's horror then don't despair. The only people who are properly qualified to diagnose PD are specialist complex needs therapists. They are not psychiatrists, who have only a basic grasp of the assessment tools needed for accurate diagnosis. You may well have been 'over-diagnosed'. Medics are not renowned for their expertise in non biological mental disorders and they diagnose PD far too liberally when they decide that meds won't help but cannot identify a helpful, by which I mean an affordable, treatment plan.
If it's relief, then I guess you've been struggling for a long time and you deserve a break from all the anxiety and so on.
Either way, don't be fobbed off with nothing but meds. Yes they may help, but won't make the problem go away, only mask the more distressing symptoms, the same way that morphine masks physical pain. Your best bet is to request what information your local services have on Complex Needs Services. If there is none, or if you can't face group work, then ask about individual psychotherapy or something like Cognitive Analytic Therapy.
DBT can help some. If the model appeals to you then go for it. But check out the alternatives as well and then you can make an informed decision and ask for what you want to help you take control of your own therapy.
Most people with Emotionally Unstable Personalities take a while to find out what type of approach will suit them best, and people do tend to feel better over time, simply because as we mature we all get to know better what makes each of us tick, and you can use that to help with your feelings.
EUPD is the usual diagnostic term these days for what used to be known as borderline pd. The change was introduced to try to make it clearer what this personality style involves - ie rapidly and widely diverging mood swings which don't fit the criteria for Bi-polar disorder (some think that they are on the same spectrum), and aren't 'psychotic' in the clinical sense, but may sometimes appear to be similar to psychosis.
Many people with really severe traits of EUPD do much better as they get older, so if you can get over the crises meanwhile, there is a good chance of lengthy remission in years to come.
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Darrowsgirl
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:11/06/2011 7:57 AM)
and the next:
The main problem I have with calling personality styles 'disorders' is that it seem to me very judgmental to people to say that their personalities are 'to blame' for the bits of life that make all of us unhappy when they go wrong. It also seems to me to be very dismissive, when people say that nothing can be done and try to sweep the issues under the carpet. Community Mental Health Team professionals are very bad at supporting people with PD, because they like to put mental health problems into nice neat clinical boxes, which simply doesn't work in this area because Life is the one variable that is a major contributing factor.
The truth is that nature plays some part of course, but nurture is at least as responsible, whether it be unhelpful (though unwitting) parenting styles or an accumulation of other outside experiences (or as most often, both). Years of entrenched, low level (and completely accidental) emotional neglect or abuse can be as damaging in some cases as major childhood sexual/physical abuse. Please bear in mind that I am not making any judgments about your family or upbringing - neither of which are any of my business, but I do think it is vital that folk with EUPD as well as other PD diagnoses (valid or otherwise) do not end up thinking that they are themselves the ones to blame for their own problems. It is FAR too complicated for that to be true.
So hang in there. It's easy to feel rejected by services that say 'take these pills and go away. There's nothing else we can do.' It can leave you feeling worse than ever, especially when life in general can leave one feeling rejected and alone. Try to work out who are the people in your life that suck you dry and then ration your time with them, while looking for relationships that will support you, but not suck you in and become toxic, and which, importantly, will leave you with the emotional space to look after your own needs and find ways to moderate those intense 'I can't go on' thoughts and feelings.
You might find it helpful to look for some basic relaxation techniques that you can learn and which may be useful when the stress kicks in. 'Mindfulness' is very popular at the moment and for good reason. But any breathing technique would do. If self harm is a problem then sometimes relaxation and breathing techniques may help nip self destructive thoughts in the bud. The key thing to learn is self awareness and the ability to mentally 'catch' hold of the triggers as they begin to kick in, and apply some way of holding the awful thoughts in a safe place before you get to the point where there is no alternative but to hurt yourself. I do it when I am contemplating eating as a response to stress. The scale is much reduced of course, but the principles are the same.
Unless you tell me otherwise I'll reserve any further replies for this board. And hugs to you. There are a lot of people out there who know some of what you re experiencing through having been through a similar experience. Mind is a great source of information too and they are non judgmental. You might find a drop-in near you where you can go for a chat/personal space and where you can just be yourself. The ones I have been involved in (as professional and others as service user) have all been pretty supportive and helpful. Their website has loads of stuff on PD as well.
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myrtlemaid
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:11/06/2011 12:20 PM)
Thanks dg.. theres an awful lot of information and suggestions in your posts .
I guess one of the reasons im feeling so odd about this is because of the way people may react if they find out..may be silly but it does worry me. It was one thing to say I was depressed , but this sounds farmore serious and Im not sure how to explain it.
I think it will be harder for people who knowme to accept this is such along term thing because Ive been very good at hiding my M/H problems overall. only letting people know at crisis times when i became depressed. Im scared theyll just say " you havent been ill all that time " and see me asa great big drama queen.
Im not sure where self pity starts and justifiable feeling sa about this ends ..
anyways Im surviving and I suppose thats the important thing.. if I get too uptight ill go basg hell out of my punch bag.
Yep please lets keep the comments about this here, it may well be i need to read them a few times over the next few weeks and itd be a shame if they were on BBC Ouch and all got removed if/when that site is removed.
Thanks and hugs back to you...
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Ex-member
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:11/06/2011 3:38 PM)
[quote] I think it will be harder for people who knowme to accept this is such along term thing because Ive been very good at hiding my M/H problems overall. only letting people know at crisis times when i became depressed. Im scared theyll just say " you havent been ill all that time " and see me asa great big drama queen.[/quote]
In one way, I think this may show who your true friends really are.
I think some people may understand that others hide their MH problems because it's easier. I did until it all got too much for me last year.
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GioGio
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:13/06/2011 3:21 AM)
I just wanted to let Myrtlemaid know that she is not alone. I myself was diagnosed last week with both borderline personality disorder and Cyclothymia to add to my existing widespread OA, Ehlers Danlos and HS. I've known for a long time that something just wasn't right in me and this diagnosis has confirmed my thoughts. Hang in there MM :) you are not alone.
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Guest
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:13/06/2011 9:27 AM)
Gio Gio..thanks for sharing that..its always good to know you arent alone. if youd like to chat about it id be more than happy to do that..there are probably a good few people who will be diagnosed in the not too distant future who would like to join in too.
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myrtlemaid
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:13/06/2011 9:31 AM)
above post was me..brain not connected today !
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scouser1969
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:17/06/2011 6:08 AM)
Reply to GioGio (13/06/2011 3:21 AM)
I just wanted to let Myrtlemaid know that she is not alone. I myself was diagnosed last week with both borderline personality disorder and Cyclothymia to add to my existing widespread OA, Ehlers Danlos and HS. I've known for a long time that something just wasn't right in me and this diagnosis has confirmed my thoughts. Hang in there MM :) you are not alone.
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hi i have been digagnosed with that same thing just waitinG to start that group therapy thing you are the only other person i have came across with it and i am sorry to tell you i am so happy i not alone !
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myrtlemaid
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:17/06/2011 8:37 AM)
Yes its always good to know its not "just me" cos thats a lonely place to be. Good luck with your theraapy , im sure as we get new members here there will be more of us along.,
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Ex-member
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:18/06/2011 2:28 AM)
This is what I have. EUPD is the new name for BPD in the EU mental diagnostic manual tbh I found there was much more stigma with it 10 years ago than there is now. u still get those in nhs who find it annoying like its somehow ur own evil fault, but as many who see it as a severe mental health illness that can be treated. i found therapy too hard to deal with and it took me a long time on loads of different drugs to find a combo that worked. everyone is different tho in what works and what doesn't i am hoping now i have a working drug combo tht they will offer me treatment in terms of DBT / Psychotherapy etcetc so i can get better. its a extremely self destructive illness and has very high percent of self harm and very high percent of suicides (relative to rest of population). this is becase it very painful and distressing. i have found that drugs help more than anything to alleviate it for myself, but also make me more bearable to others around me. liken it to a pain killer for someone who normally screams in pain. they will scream and put off others around them, but a pain killer can make this person not scream in pain - thus more bearable for those around him. it sounds evil, but the illness is very evil. i look at it as a disability, that will be with me for life, its trying to cope better with it. i havent really learned many skills, just not forget the meds and have reminders. it gets worse very quickly, 1 day or 2 days without meds and i feel terrible. it kinda creeps up and waits for something to go wrong before it goes really bad and when it hurts like hell u know its because u forgot to take a dose
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myrtlemaid
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:18/06/2011 1:48 PM)
Thanks speedbird.. I hope its not long till you are ableto get and usefully use therapy..
Every comment and post on this thread has been appreciated ...yes for the facts because Im someone who feels more in control if they know things about my conditions but also just for the sharing and support which have left me feeling less alone with this.
thanks peeps. jox
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Ex-member
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:19/06/2011 5:32 PM)
((((((hugs)))))) Myrtlemaid
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xXMessedUpXx
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 1:29 PM)
It is the new name, when i first saw my shrink that's what she diagnosed me with. (since been told its actually bipolar..)
Never had DBT personally but a friend with BPD/EUPD did and she felt it helped a lot
which explained it a bit more
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purplewheels
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:15/07/2011 10:37 AM)
I still remember the shock I got when I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I spent some time in a psychotherapy day unit and I have now recovered and have been well since 2000. DBT is a very helpful way of working with PD's and if used properly can provide a safe place to explore the manifestations of BPD or EUPD!
Sometimes people think that these diagnoses are condemning them to a lifetime of mental illness, but that is not the case. My partner has just been told that she is being referred to the treatment team for PDs and they use MBT or Mentalisation Based Treatment. I am hoping that it will really help her as she has been in therapy for such a long time and she works so hard to get well.
I hope that you get what you need in order for you to recover.
Love n hugs!
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scousershell
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:26/07/2011 9:43 PM)
hi i have borderline personality disorder and Cyclothymia an i hate it it destroys everythin how do u all cope x
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Jen17
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:27/07/2011 3:40 AM)
Hi
I know that my diagnoisis is different but 2 weeks ago I was told I have Dissociative Identitiy Disorder (DID) but I like you dont know what to feel. I thought after 11 years of not being well and finally knowing what it was would be a relief but I actually feel numb. I have this on top of the severe M.E so life is a struggle but I dont know what I feel.
I know that I am going to have talk therapy when it gets sorted out and that I am lucky that I actually got the diagnoisis quickly after I had seen my new GP with the information I had found out about DID from Ouch, I think it was about 5 months in total (maybe not that long!!). A lot of people wait years for treatment but I am lucky in that sense.
Sorry for rambling, just wanted to say I think I know a bit how you are feeling about the diagnoisis.
Jen x
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fairysparkle
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:27/07/2011 6:02 AM)
Hi Jen, please keep posting about how things are going. I imagine it must be a strange place to be as the pressure on the ME stuff is defending its physical orgigin, which I've always thought is a nightmare re mental health issues on top, which is very sad. Holistic should mean that - lets look at you as a whole.
Is it difficult for people to explain these new terms to folk as I thought we were still transferring from manic depressive to bipolar, and I've had plenty conversations with people who can't understand why the label should be changed to another name. I would have thought that its hard enough to explain without having to educate people what it is in the first place?
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Jen17
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RE:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:27/07/2011 10:33 AM)
Hi
Yeah it is not good having the DID and the M.E, they dont help each other!! When I have a alter I tend to wander off, this is bad because 1 it is dangerous and 2 when I come round again I cant get back as I am unable to walk cos of the M.E!!!!!! Then I am extremely exhaused due to severe headache and having been walking!! This can leave me ill for weeks. I can have the alters any time day or night, they happen with no warning, I have now put in for my DLA 2 couple of months early to try and get HRC as at mo I get MRC, they told me they didnt give me the higher one last time cos I didnt need enough night care so I am hoping now that I will get the higher rate as my husband has to be awake a lot at night as I can just wander off or do dangerous things.
Just heard today I will definately be having talk therapy on the NHS and hopefully with a therapist close to where i live twice a week for 3 years or failing that I would have to go to the nearest city which is a 60 mile+ round trip which would not be good for the M.E and my hubby has M.E too and he will have to drive me!!
While typing this the therapist has phoned to arrange a meeting with her on my birthday!!!!17th august. She sounded very posh and a bit stern and offish!! Hope she will be ok as dont want to go too far, but if she like she sounds I dont think I will like her!!!!!!!
I find it hard to explain DID but hubby good at explaining it. It used to be known as Multiple personality disorder, I think more people know that name than the DID. I just seem to have people look at me as though I have gone completely insane and look scared of me as though I have 2 heads!!!
Jen x
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Darrowsgirl
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Re:emotionally unstable personality disorder
(Date Posted:27/07/2011 12:11 PM)
Try not to worry about the therapist. It's part of their job description to be 'detached'. So don't expect 'warm and fluffy'. What you can be sure of is that she won't be judgmental and she won't tell you what to think. That is for you to work out, with her help. And there are no right or wrong answers.
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