CrazyKim
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Score:788 Posts:402
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:04/07/2011 3:41 AM)
Congratulations!! And lots of ((hugs)) for you all!
I'd love to be able to have kids one day, but I worry about how I would cope, so I would love to hear how you get on :)
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:04/07/2011 4:10 AM)
Hi CrazyKim
thank you so much for your well wishes. I am filling in my notepad right now with pages of phone numbers and equipment ideas - which all sounds terribly organised.
I hope you have children in your life no matter what; and that your parenting skills get used, even whilst you wait.
FS x
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Penthesalie
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Score:487 Posts:252
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:04/07/2011 11:05 AM)
Congratulations, Fairysparkle! Wonderful news, sweetheart. I'm also a ME wheelie with non-functioning legs, have your Social Services offered you a power chair to help once you've got your little bundle of joy? Cheers, Pen.
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Ex-member
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:04/07/2011 4:42 PM)
Congratulations
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 1:41 AM)
Hi Penthesalie
Thank you for your warm wishes. I'm not sure if you were posting something you have pursued, but it's not possible for social services to give a powerchair.
Long story short, I bought my own after my OH and I fought and fought for 18 months to get our property ramped. We had to move house in the process as we were getting nowhere (and I mean, nowhere; we told them in the tribunal we were trying for a family, and they still refused to tell us why we could not have a ramp in the first property). The criteria for powerchairs in the NHS means that unless you have no mobility at all, then you are not eligible for a power chair. I am posting this so that people who are looking for support will see what is and what is not available.
I use my chair outside the home, and internally have set the house up carefully. Looking for gadgets/ideas that save arm energy and take into account that most of what I do is sit.
Realistically, social services will be able to provide very little support. Where we are the criteria for Direct Payments means that financially it's not worth it (from what they quoted us, we would need to have a very small income). The area we live, the budget will be well stretched so that even if we were eligible, I think we'd struggle to get it. I am happy to pursue our own way of getting support. Looking for a cleaner for housework, and would consider childcare when required. I might sound a bit negative here, but I made sure I checked with SW before things happened as to what we could expect.
My best hope is to find some other mums in the area, at least a number of facilities I can attend in wheelchair, and to find another wheelie mum would be gold dust : ). FS x
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 1:42 AM)
Thank you Ilovepinkandpurple : )
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CrazyKim
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Score:788 Posts:402
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 3:57 AM)
Have you considered getting a baby sling for helping carry bub around easily? It would reduce the wobbly arms worry, and also free your hands so you can use your wheelchair or stick
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Penthesalie
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Score:487 Posts:252
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 11:18 AM)
Sorry Fairysparkle, I was just thinking of how it would be possible to move round with your arms full if you were in a manual wheelchair and thought an electric one might help as it would free up your hands to hold the baby.
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sherbs
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Score:101 Posts:51
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 11:54 AM)
Congratulations,
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devineDeb
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Score:613 Posts:310
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:05/07/2011 2:37 PM)
congrats to you and your husband Mrs FS
My son is 30, definitely the best thing I did, even if I did start at age 16. I hope you'll have as much fun as I did.
re finding another wheelie mum - ask your GP surgery and especially the midwife / health visitor - give them a card with your (appropriately safe) contact details on it and ask them to pass on to any other wheelie mums they come across. Also ask you local disability rights group. regards, Deb
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titch76
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Score:6 Posts:3
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 4:31 AM)
Congratulations!! We would love to have children but I think its past the point now after 14 yrs of trying with two unsuccessful icsi cycles I think we need to accept defeat so I love to hear when people are having a baby :-) Anyway here is a website of a disabled mom who shares her experiences of parenthood in a wheelchair & different equipment she has used it is really good www.parentsinwheelchairs.com there is also www.disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk Hope they help! Take care :-)
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jaimelicious
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Score:269 Posts:138
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 9:00 AM)
nothing helpful to say - just wanted to say congratulations! that's wonderful!
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Hurtyback
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Score:1749 Posts:879
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 1:18 PM)
Congratulations!!
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Ditchdwellers
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Score:963 Posts:496
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 2:17 PM)
How lovely to hear such good news! Would it be possible to get some advice from an OT? They must have come across similar situations before, and may be able to provide some useful hints and tips. Rachel
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escapecommittee
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Score:234 Posts:126
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 2:25 PM)
fantastic news
Otter
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wheelycross
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Score:18 Posts:10
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 3:53 PM)
First of all, Congratulations Second of all, whatever happens, you will cope with it. The help and support of your partner and any family is invaluable, and I suggest you take advantage of everything offered. My children are all grown now and we are on grandchildren - just as challenging with wheelchairs etc but less problematic. Take care x x
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auntieCtheM
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Score:731 Posts:370
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OOooo I'm going to be an internet grannie
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 5:51 PM)
I've never been able to have children, so I am very excited by your news, fairysparkle. Do keep us posted as to what is happening. Sorry I cannot knit for the coming baby but I can send you both all the best wishes. You will manage, and there will be days when you cannot manage. Just like any other new mother. Squeal, how exciting!!
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Haldis
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:06/07/2011 6:20 PM)
Congratulations!
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:08/07/2011 6:09 AM)
Thanks Sherb, Jaimelicious, hurtyback, Otter, wheelycross, haldis, etc.
Pen, it's a great idea, just wanted folks to know that if you want support/equipment, then you have to be prepared to pay for it, as the level of help you can get can be pretty poor.
Deb, that is an interesting idea re card for midiwfe, will give it a try.
CrazyKim - I would love a sling, if anyone has any recommends then that would be fab. I also need a baby carrier when outside using chair, and inside the house, something like a small pram to push baby around in, as although I can use stick, I am not safe to carry baby whilst standing (using power chair in house would only be when really stuck, as I like to have a little mobile time). A friend is going to lend me a crib on wheels; fantastic!
Ditchdwellers, I'm really hoping OT will be good. I've had both kinds and thankfully the one we have just now seemed to have her head screwed on. I am due in Jan, so does anyone have any idea when I should get refered? Is now too early? I will still be hunting for equipment ideas on my own, as I know that occasionally you can get promised the earth and have to order it for yourself anyway.
AuntCthe M - that is such a lovely offer. My MIL has turned into a knitting factory; I had not idea she could churn out tiny cardigans : )
FS x
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:08/07/2011 6:20 AM)
Hi titch36
I was so sorry to read your situation, as I can't imagine what a tough journey that was. Thank you so much for your well wishes.
Our pregnancy was an assisted one, and it helped me appreciate a little of how much hard work it is to go through the whole IVF and further route.
We had an unstimulated IUI. The hospital agreed to this, even though the research says its no more effective than baby dancing. Well, we had done PLENTY of that, and this was the only time it worked. I would have considered stimulated IUI, but was so glad we didn't have to, as I am very drug sensitive.
For those who are TTC, just to say I was also on Low Dosage Naltrexone (which I'm convinced helped, but there is no way of proving that), and natural progesterone cream, and fish oils, and other supplements. OH was on high dose zinc and terrestis tribulus. I am happy to share any of our experience with anyone who'd like to know as I know it's a tough time. We had unexplained infertility, and it took 2 1/2 years TTC, with two of those years being investigated, etc and then waiting for our first IUI. We truly appreciate we were blessed by the result, and my heart goes out to those who would love to be in this position. Am also aware of those who have lost pregnancies, and the heartache that goes with that.
Good call on the websites - really helpful.
FS x
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Ditchdwellers
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Score:963 Posts:496
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:08/07/2011 6:36 AM)
Fairysparkle, Have you been in touch with the NCT? My sister has found them to be brilliant (she's not disabled - just classed as a geriatric mother [how I laughed]). They have local branches and can give advice throughout pregnancy and the early years. One huge bonus of the NCT is their nearly new sales. My sister has bought loads of things from the sales at vastly reduced prices. The clothes are a bargain, and you will find a good selection of equipment too. I'm always shocked at the cost of baby gear, and seeing as they grow out of things so quickly, it takes a long time before the clothes actually become worn out. I've bought designer and good quality gear for my niece and grand children for just a few pounds. I would start asking questions now if I was you. It can take time to find the right things and you don't want to be rushing around at the last moment when you're heavily pregnant. A friend had a pram similar to the one in the link that she found useful for pushing the baby around indoors, and she also was able to leave the baby in the pram to sleep, rather than carrying her upstairs each time she wanted to lay her down. I'm really excited for you. Rachel
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Jen17
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Score:129 Posts:73
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:08/07/2011 12:02 PM)
Congratulations Fairy Sparkle what exciting news!!
My middle daughter who has Fibro and M.E has had her 12 week scan too just a couple of weeks ago, I have severe M.E and I worry how she will cope with the pregnancy, so far she is doing not too bad but has had to come of one heck of a lot of tablets, she says that pain levels are bad at times, she has had probs with sickness but last week or so easing a bit.
I will be doing all I can to help find things to make her life easier with the baby so perhaps we can swap notes if we find anything!! I did not develop my M.E until my daughter who is 12 was 6 months old, but I was lucky if you can call it that, that my husband had to give up full-time work to be my full-time carer so was looking after her more than me, but I did find it tiring and sometimes frustrating but worth everything to have her as she was our first child together. The middle and older daughters are from a previous marriage. I have another 2 grandchildren from my oldest daughter too.
Jen x
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auntieCtheM
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Score:731 Posts:370
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:10/07/2011 2:08 PM)
How are you fairysparkle? OK I hope.
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:12/07/2011 6:36 AM)
Hi Rachel, yeah the NCT seem to have a great rep, as loads of people have mentioned them. I think you are right, even though it feels a bit odd asking so much in advance, I'm a total prepare in advance lady.
Hi Jen, ME is jsut a bummer, no matter when you get it. The pregnancy part is interesting as you really have no idea how your body is going to react. I really have got the nausea bad, but I also have the best asthma control I've had in years. It must be tough coming off tablets - I couldn't tolerate them, so was on nowt but paracetamol, and some of the fibro calmed down as soon as I got pregnant. I know it might not last, and that folk can find stuff comes back after the birth. I was also on the LDN for fibro stuff, as well as fertility. Some folk stay on the LDN all the way through, but there was not enough research to persuade me. Once I have finished breast feeding, then I will go back on it, as it was the best pain control I've had out a bottle. Does your daughter know she can use TENS just now around the shoulder area, (and not the girdle, lower back part)? I was advised to use this if needed. Also accupuncture from a qualified person can help with pain. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea; I just respond well to the needles.
Hi AuntieCtheM - I'm good : ). Shame about the constant nausea/hunger; it's not that bad, but I think it zonks the system a fair bit. Am vegetarian's nightmare right now; want meat, lots of it, and have turned into velociraptor. Think there is a wee part of me thinking; hmm, was hoping I could do stretches, etc for muscles, etc, but bending over can be a challenge, never mind a lot of movement, so am telling myself, look you are teaching your baby to relax, and that its ok to roll with things as they come.
Thank you again for people's well wishes and support - does more than you might think : )
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Ex-member
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:12/07/2011 10:15 AM)
Congratulations and hope you have a trouble-free pregnancy.
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fairysparkle
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Score:268 Posts:138
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:17/07/2011 1:12 PM)
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Ex-member
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:17/07/2011 1:26 PM)
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auntieCtheM
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Score:731 Posts:370
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RE:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:17/07/2011 2:35 PM)
re message 26 In the old days bay went into a drawer in the bedroom chest of drawers!!
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Yvettea
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Score:933 Posts:501
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:22/07/2011 11:03 AM)
Congratulations to you and Daddy!
There is a wheelchair user with three children who writes a column for Disability Now magazine.
I really like her articles.
You may find them online or perhaps the magazine will send copies to you. I can't remember her name - sorry.
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Noisyworld
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Score:1150 Posts:576
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Re:Disabled and up the duff
(Date Posted:07/08/2011 4:27 PM)
Congratulations fairysparkle :)
It's lovely to hear good news :)
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