Posted on 12/11/2011 12:32 AM
"Jockice, do you have an unexplained effect upon electrical goods?"#
Not just on electrical goods. /On goods in general. I don't have a vacuum cleaner anymore (the woman who does my cleaning brings hers round) but literally every one I owned previously just broke after a short period of time. We're talking about over half a dozen of the things. All of which worked perfecly when I got them.
Posted on 10/11/2011 4:56 AM
My bedroom heater's conked out, the freezer compartment on the fridge has decided to totally defrost for no apparent reason and the television in my bedroom, which I only bought a few months ago, has stopped working. But am I moaning about it? Er, yes, I am.
Posted on 10/11/2011 4:48 AM
"Whereas if you go places as a couple, some couples usually tend to stick together and don't mingle. "
Not disability-related but I have a mate whose girlfriend is incredibly possessive, so much so that he is no longer allowed to have any contact with the relation of hers who he met her through, who he had been friends with for years.
It gets worse, at work he sits opposite someone who went to school with her. They were invited to this colleague's birthday party but the girlfriend has refused to go (even though they've never had any sort of fallout) and to let him go either. That's despite the fact that another schoolfriend of hers will be travelling from another part of the country, staying with them AND going to the party. I can't work that out at all.
For some reason she thinks I'm okay and she even lets him go to the pub with me sometimes, although about a third of the time he'll have to cancel at the last minute because she'll throw a strop.
And people wonder why I prefer to stay single.
Posted on 09/11/2011 11:23 PM
Hi auntie. I didn't mean getting singled out specifically by people who wonder why I'm on my own, I mean getting singled out in general everyday life. I am very visible. I don't want to be but I am. I came to terms a long time ago with the fact that I get noticed, but it doesn't mean I want to or enjoy it.
It's not necessarily always a bad thing. Yesterday I had to take my car in for its MOT and as the place I go swimming is a few hundred metres from there and my back has been really bad in the last few days I decided to use my wheelchair rather than walking between them. Now a few people asked if I wanted any help, but I didn't really until on the way back to the garage, my chair got stuck in a piece of uneven pavement and I couldn't move it. A couple of people came to my aid, closely followed by a woman in uniform. Turned out she was a security officer from a firm based on that road and had been watching my progress on their CCTV cameras. I just thought: "Blimey."
When I'm using my crutches, which is most of the time, I arguably get watched and singled out more. I have to take things very carefully and often seem on the verge of falling, even when I'm not. I've been known to walk into places and have the entire room fall silent and everyone turn round and look at me. I'm definitely not just imagining this. I do get incredibly self-conscious but have to pretend not to be in public otherwise it makes things worse. That's a very big part of the reason I need a lot of time totally on my own.
But yes, I know people who actually can't bear being by themselves. It means they might have to think. But I still reckon it's very rare for a non-disabled person on their own to be asked if and why they're on their own. I can only think of once in my life it's happened - when a female friend of mine did it to a drunk and very obviously lonely woman who started talking to us in a pub one night. I couldn't believe it. I just thought: "Very subtle. Why don't you rub it in a bit more, so she'll feel that crucial little bit worse when she gets home later?"
PS, the car failed its MOT. Vandalised wing mirror. That's all.
Posted on 08/11/2011 6:30 PM
I can vaguely remember Anne Diamond being semi-famous in the 1980s. Was she a newsreader or something? I've always found Dawn French a laugh-free zone but she didn't deserve this.*
*By 'this' I mean being used in Anne Diamond's latest cry for help....sorry, desperate attempt to get her name back in the limelight....er... I mean.impassioned article...
Posted on 08/11/2011 4:39 PM
Deb, you're even rarer than me. Not allowed. Stop it now.
Posted on 08/11/2011 4:50 AM
Some people just don't listen anyway. I can remember having a phone conversation with my dad over some personal crisis years ago - a crisis that was so inconsequential that I can't even remember what it was about. It went:
Me: "I'll be okay. I just want to be left alone at the moment."
Him: "Well I'll come round if you don't want to be alone."
Me: "I do though."
Him: "Or come round here if you don't want to be alone."
Me: "I've already said I do want to be alone."
Him: "I can understand you not wanting to be on your own."
Me: "I do. Really. I just want more than anything else to be on my own.
Him: "So do you want me to come round, or are you coming here, as you don't want to be alone?"
Etc etc. I ended up hanging up on him otherwise it could have gone on for the rest of our lives.
Mind you, my mum was worse. She translated the words 'leave me alone' when said by me as 'please try to find out every detail about my life.'
Posted on 08/11/2011 4:14 AM
I'm on Facebook. I like Facebook. I have 666 'friends' many of whom I've never met and never will. I was at a wedding not long ago at which two separate guests introduced themselves to me in the space of about a minute. I thought: "I already know who you are. We've been Facebook friends for at least a year."
However, I've never twitted or whatever they call it.
Posted on 08/11/2011 2:11 AM
Got to admit Uurban that I've never done that. Sounds horrifying....I did nearly vomit in Tesco last week, then a few minutes later had to ask to use the staff toilet. For a pee, not a puke.
Posted on 08/11/2011 1:30 AM
I suppose to a certain extent I can be a bit of a loner. There are various reasons for this and I suppose one of the main ones is that being an oddity and an outsider for most of my life means that I need breathing space alone to get my brain into order after a hard day of being singled out.
However, I also have a gregarious streak, know loads of people and have a decent social life. It's very rare for me not to go to the pub/for a meal/to a gig or to the pictures with other people at the very least once a week. It's probably even rarer for me to actually arrange something. I let my friends contact me rather than the other way round.
I've noticed over the years that people often can't understand that a disabled person actually prefers sometimes to be alone and recently have had a spate of being asked why I don't have anyone else with me by people I don't know. 've had this at a concert when sat down on my own for a few minutes, at the sports centre I go to (from a new staff member), in a shop and even from in the street. I'm not sure if these people meant why do I not have someone looking after me or they assume that because I'm disabled I obviously can't have any friends. I can feel the sympathy practically dripping off people in cases like that. If they had thought bubbles above their heads it would read 'aw, poor thing. Not only is he disabled, he's so terribly lonely.' I'm not. I don't do relationships, but that's because I really don't like them and if I ever have one again it'll be a natural thing rather than being forced - I ain't joining dating sites or anything like that.
In my case I don't think it's anything to do with 'preferring to be independent' as non-disabled people tend to put it. I just genuinely want to be left alone and to do things my own way. A lot of the time other people try to help me and just get in my way anyway...
I'm going to a funeral later today. My best friend from school's dad. I mentioned this casually to someone, she seemed amazed when I said I was going on my own. and she has offered several times to come with me, even though she will know precisely no-one there. Nice of her to offer I suppose, but it just strikes me as strange. She seems to think I won't be able to cope alone. Oh yes I can
Anyway, the reason for this ramble is just wondering if other site users feel and behave like me or if they need to have people with them/around them all the time and if so why in either case. There's no right or wrong answer, I just find it interesting.
Posted on 06/11/2011 4:57 PM
God, that's depressing. Very well-researched though.
Posted on 06/11/2011 2:18 PM
Sitting next to the radiator. Which isn't switched on. Stupid animal.
Posted on 05/11/2011 4:41 AM
Hmm. Regarding the mobility goods firm - I used to get regular calls from a company in Chesterfield, wonder if it was them? I'm by no means the most assertive person on earth but I've managed to avoid letting salesmen into my house so far.
Posted on 05/11/2011 2:49 AM
An old bloke I see in the paper shop often leaves his stick behind. It's become a standing joke between us.
Memory's a strange thing anyway. I'm very good at remembering appointments etc and very rarely have to write them down. (This week, dole office 9am on Monday, a funeral at 1pm on Tuesday, car MOT 8.30am Wednesday, occupational therapist home visit 10am Thursday)
On the other hand I recently totally forgot the name of the wife of one of my best friends. Mind you, they've only been married 23 years. And /I was at the wedding and have probably met her several hundred times since then. Strange.
It's Mandy by the way.
Posted on 04/11/2011 7:22 AM
Or perhaps not. Don't know what happened there, except that I was on my old computer as all my pictures are stored there.
Posted on 04/11/2011 1:46 AM
Neither faithful nor friendly - but meet Pongo.
Posted on 03/11/2011 11:23 PM
Yip. Best wishes. See you in Silloth at some point in the future.
Posted on 03/11/2011 12:43 PM
If the tabloidish title of this Panorama investigation makes you wince, be wary indeed – it is based on the assumption that £22bn is lost each year in benefit fraud. However, the attorney general's own stats from 2010 put the figure at just £1.1bn. Still, it's an excuse for undercover cameras to expose a handful of fraudsters, following the work of fraud investigators. Meanwhile, some £20bn a year is respectably lost through legitimate tax avoidance by UK corporations and the super-rich.
The Guardian's preview. I shall not be watching. There's football on.