I was the one to pick up the phone and I thank god for letting it be me and not her. She would have cried just knowing who the person on the other end of the phone was and why they were asking for me. Deployment was happening in a few weeks and they wanted me on base to get ready. I could lie to her, tell her everything would be fine but I didn't know if it would be.
She must have heard me yelling outside on the dock because she came out of the house that we were renting on our "dream" vacation. Some dream vacation this was for the both of us.
I didn't even have to tell her before the tears started rolling and my guilt had festered in my belly. I turned to look at her but couldn't see the confusion and sadness for to long so I turned back around.
-You're leaving again.
-They need me.
-I need you.
Some shitty sick and twisted movie this was. I looked out at the sunset and sighed. She really knew how to make a man feel like shit.
-But you're going anyway.
I turned around to her and reached out my hand before she pushed it down and shoved me against the docks rails.
-You said that was the last time! You said they let you come home for good and now you're fucking lying? Please tell me you are making some stupid joke again. Tell me you are doing this out of fucking amusement. Please tell me you really are lying.
-I have no choice.
-You have no choice.
She laughed under her breath and turned away. I guess she was trying to talk herself down but she was too hot headed for that. Her hands were fists when she turned back to me. I knew how she was feeling because I felt it too. I almost didn't make it home last time and now I was leaving again and probably not coming back. That's what she thought. That's what the hurt behind her eyes was for.
-Choose to stay and tell them you left and you aren't going back. Tell them they sent you in on a suicide mission and that you are staying here.
-That's not how this works.
-I don't care how it works I'm not letting you go back.
-You don't have a choice.
-Don't tell me what I have! Don't tell me what you don't have!
She wasn't even hiding the tears anymore when she put her hands on my face. She started to sob and beg; I couldn't blame her for that. I knew she wasn't doing this to make me feel like shit but it didn't stop me from feeling like I let her down.
-Please. I don't want to lose you.
I wiped the red hair out of her face to get a good look at her grey eyes. I wanted to remember her like this even if I had to remember it with tears. The way the sunset lit up her face and hair and how the reflection of the ocean in her eyes could make a grown man cry, and they did.
The tears subsided while shock set in and I got down on a knee. She looked down at me and covered her mouth seeing a diamond ring in a little black case in front of her.
-Will you do me the absolute biggest honor and be my Mrs.?
The rest was a fairy tale ending in real life. She said yes and jumped in my arms. I almost tossed the damn ring in the ocean but didn't. For just a minute things were right in the world. She was happy and we weren't worried about tomorrow or me leaving.
She jumped into my arms and I hauled ass back to the little house hut we rented out on the ocean. She looked so beautiful laying back on the bed and looking at the ring on her finger. I couldn't help but kiss those lips and hold on to my girl for dear life. She pulled me on top of her and again everything was right with the world.
That night I made dinner and got my things ready to go back. She ignored me for most of the night and I knew why. We maybe had one more night to see each other for a while. I wanted to make it special so I put my things in one of the rooms we didn't use. I didn't want her thinking about that right now. When dinner was ready is when she walked out of the bedroom in a see through nightgown. Her red hair fell just right over her nipples and she seductively bit her bottom lip.
-We aren't eating yet are we?
She shook her head and lead me into the bedroom before pushing me back onto the bed and pulled down my pants. Her lips wrapped around the head of my dick and I let out a moan. Before long she was standing over me and pulling my shirt off. Her lips pressed into mine and I pulled her into me before rolling over on top of her. Her giggle was everything to me but after the giggle was a moan from me being inside of her. One fucking moment of happiness was what was going to get me threw. This moment of happiness was the only thing that would keep me going.
We finished in the bedroom and walked out to grab the food and sit out on the dock. There were candles lit and a blanket put out. I tried to make it perfect for her so she could forget. We ate, laughed over stupid shit that we said in highschool, and took a dip in the ocean. She pushed me over the railing and I dragged her in by her ankle. It was a dream.
Then I woke up.
I was in an uncomfortable bed and sand was hitting the windows of the base. She was gone and it was just a dream. I didn't hear anything from her after I left. Not one word. I don't blame her because the way I dream of it isn't how it happened. I left her unsure and worried. I left the night I got the call and I never asked her to marry me. Now I can only hope she's waiting for me to get out of here. I can only pray to god that the reason I haven't heard from her is it's to hard and that she hasn't moved on. I'm a selfish bastard for wanting it but I hope she is still there waiting for me to come home. I have to make things right. I have to give her what I've been dreaming of and not just telling her I have to leave.